This past week has been a difficult one and this week has also started off with some disappointing news. Last week we were told by a very loving church that they were not going to be able to support us at this time. In every way that I received that information I was o.k. because I know the heart of this church and I believe they are doing the right thing. On an even broader spectrum, we are brothers and sisters of the faith forever and there is no competition, God gives direction and I accept that direction. I'm human though and I was disappointed. In addition to that, my wife discovered that she will not be returning to her teaching job. This wasn't because of her, she is (and I'm serious here) the best teacher I have ever had the privilege of knowing. Then this morning after my time of worship our Lord and being still before Him and just drinking in all that He is, I opened our account status. For the second week in a row, we have had no new partners. So there are things weighing on us as a family. What will our funding for Uganda look like and how will it grow? What will we do to earn a living while we wait for God to complete our funding? How will we balance all of this while I am finishing my last Masters assignment?
At the same time that I am contending with this, I am learning something more valuable to me than any amount of money that this world can supply. I am learning a deep and intimate dependence upon Christ. I am discovering that while it may not be fun to deal with these things, I am growing and being shaped by this opportunity. I don't like it, I will be the first to tell you that. I'd like God to drop a boat load of money in our account and send us to Uganda. There is, however, a litany of verses that mandate that everything happens in God's time and not mine. During this time, I am discovering that I do not have the option of auditing Biblical application to my life. I have been purchased with the most expensive Treasure in heaven and therefore since I am His, I must/get to do things His way, even when I don't like it. If I disagree with God, I'm wrong and no amount of expert Theological tap dancing can get me around that very truth. So what do I do with disappointment and uncertainty. I have a couple of options. First, were I weak in the faith, I could simply be upset with God and just live in rebellion for a while. "How dare you God? I know You created me and gave your very Son for me and hold in Your hand every breath I breathe, but You aren't answering me and I am mad now". That is insane. I've done that early on in my immaturity and the outcome is pure devastation. The second response is the preferred response. "Jesus, You have freed me from things that I thought were impossible. You came down to me, You (THE KING) came down to me (the rebel) and You died for me. Then You rose again and You indwelt me with Your Spirit. Am I in need of anything? NO! On top of this, You have given to me a wife of 16 years that I grow more and more in love with everyday. You have given me Micah, who brings Your name glory in ways that bring me to tears. You have given me Lexi, who is an outspoken advocate for Your namesake. You have given me Levi, who hasn't broken anything yet today. LOL. Am I need of anything? NO! I am surrounded by a cloud of people who love me and so many that I will spend eternity with.
I choose the second option, because when I see all that He has done for me, it obliterates my selfishness. It reminds me that He is perfect, His love is perfect and He does not fail! There is no treasure on this earth that appeals to me anymore because I abide in Him. There is no better place to be than at His feet. So let me take a minute in my gratefulness and say to you who are reading this, He is good. To those of you who have prayed are praying and continue to pray for us, HE IS GOOD! For those of you who are partnering with us financially and are doing this journey with us, HE IS GOOD! I have included a video that just sums up what attitude that God is creating in me. If you get nothing else, know this, regardless of circumstances, HE IS GOOD!
Please listen and just worship Him!!!
Link to Video--Say Amen